Relationship Counseling

Even the best relationships can fall on troubled times. Dealing with an impasse in a relationship can be one of the most frustrating things a person can experience—one which can end up affecting just about every other aspect of a person's life.

Relationship Counseling

Relationship counseling has recently emerged as a discreet, professional service that fulfills the roles previously assumed by friends, family, and religious leaders. Relationship counseling is sometimes called couples counseling. These services are typically designed and used by two people sharing an intimate relationship, but also by family members, employees, employers and clients seeking a way to reconcile their differences. Psychologists, social workers, and other mental health counselors encourage communication and understanding through education and use of psychotherapeutic techniques.

Resolving Issues with Relationship Counseling

Current statistics indicate that 60 percent of marriages end in divorce. One explanation for this is that couples don't seek help with their problems and blame the situation on the other partner. Generally speaking, there is usually no one person to blame for a failed relationship. It takes two people to have a relationship and most people don't realize until its too late that the problem wasn't the partner they were with—it was them. Getting rid of your partner does not get rid of your problems. Instead of blaming each other, relationship counseling helps people to communicate and work through their issues and resolve anger by working together.

While all couples argue and have conflicts, the difference between a happy relationship and an unhappy one lies in the ability of the parties involved to resolve and discuss their differences in a positive manner. To accomplish this, the feelings, needs, and interests of each person need to be treated with respect. Interactions that degrade the ability to do this include:

Hostile attacks that are either verbal or physical

Name-calling, degrading, or putting down the other person

Feelings of contempt or resentment

Injecting old experiences or information into a current argument

Defensive responses

Avoiding or retreating from disagreement

Escalating negative attitudes within the relationship.

Relationship counseling helps couples to identify these patterns in a non-combative manner, so they can be resolves without judgment. Many couples who have gone through divorce wish they had tried relationship counseling first. Today, engaged couples or couples considering marriage (perhaps with one member dragging their feet) often receive couples counseling in order to work out their issues prior to making the big commitment.

What to Expect from Relationship Counseling

Trained counselors will help you to examine your relationship with your partner in an effort to make it better. They will also help you to make decisions regarding your readiness for commitment and what is fair to expect from one another. Those with children can find ways to deal with the conflicts of parenting. The focus of your counseling will be on improving communications and finding solutions to the problems you may be experiencing so that you both can enjoy a healthier life.

By Doug Vanisky